Review: The Lone Ranger

I promised myself that I wouldn't watch this movie, mostly because I felt that I had a pretty good idea of how awful it was going to be.  Gore Verbinski, the director, has a really bad track record with me.  His only coherent film is the first Pirates of the Carribean film, while the others are just awful and unwatchable.  He actually started off directing Budweiser 'frog' commercials, and then got his break with Dreamworks with a film called Mouse Hunt.  Suffice it to say, I think he gets one more strike with Disney, and then he's out (not including this film).

REVIEW
The movie starts out quite compelling, with Johnny Depp stealing the screen and a really good musical score.  However, it goes WAY downhill after that. 

Everyone did adequate acting, but the characters that they were given to portray were ridiculous.  Armie Hammer's Lone Ranger is not a hero in any sense, unless you believe that a hero should be a blabbering moron.  His ideals are high, but then he 'must' break them and therefore becomes a 'hero' because of his lack of trust in any institution.

Johnny Depp's Tonto was equally adequate, but not nearly as interesting as his other characters.  Many will tell you that this Tonto is nothing more than an American-Indian Captain Jack.  I highly disagree.  Jack Sparrow was way more interesting and likeable.

There were a lot of great actors in this, but they were all wasted!  Helena Bonam Carter barely had 4 minutes of screen time!  William Fitchner did the best job of all, but not enough to save the movie.

The film had an identity crisis: it didn't know if it wanted to be a comedy, a drama, an action flick, or a horror film.  It switched its tone between these more than any live action movie I've ever seen.  It was horribly uneven, and by the end I really wanted to leave the theater.  It was that awful of an experience for me!

The main message I got from the film is "Don't trust any institution."  It openly paints corporations and government alike as greedy to the point of being willing to kill for it.  I'm no pro-government enthusiast, but the heavy-handedness with which this was doled out was quite despicable and unbecoming of Disney.  There is a native american massacre at the hands of both institutions in this film.

The PG-13 rating is way too low.  There is a scene of canibalism that should have pushed this over the top to R.  A lot of folks feel that Disney must have pulled some strings to get it passed as PG-13, and I tend to agree with them.

CONCLUSION
The Lone Ranger is easily the worst film I have seen all year and one of the weirdest films I've ever seen.  It wasn't very funny or very pleasing to look at, though it tried very hard to do both.  1/5 Disco Balls.

PARENTS GUIDE
This is one of the hardest PG-13 films I've ever seen.  It should be R and the MPAA should be ashamed of themselves.  No children under 16 should see this movie.